Photo Credit: Eden Radandt
“At the time it happened, not many people had gone through something like this before. It was a fairly unknown diagnosis.”
Eden Radandt woke up to the repeated beeping of an alarm early every morning. She heard the rapid footsteps of her mom, Missy, running downstairs, the slow shaking of the pills hitting against the hard-plastic bottle. Then, her mom would scream: “Jack, it is time to take your meds. Get up!”
Jackson Radandt, 17, was born on Easter Sunday of 2001. Since that day, the life of the Radandt family has been forever altered. Including that of Jackson’s sister, Eden.
“It wasn’t until Jack was one week old that we found out he had a life-threatening heart condition,” remembered Eden. “We were devastated. Just as suddenly as he was brought into this world, the possibility of losing him was imminent.”
Little did the Radandt family know, this heath scare was the first of many for Jackson; little did Eden know, this time her family spent prioritizing Jackson was only the beginning.
Eden took a deep breath and smiled, tucking her short blonde hair neatly behind her ears. She muttered: “Jackson was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.”
Congenital Heart Disease is the most common birth defect, according to the Pediatric Congenital Heart Association. Jackson’s diagnosis of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome meant that he was born missing the left ventricle of his heart. While this can temporarily be fixed through a series of operations and daily medications, heart failure is inevitable.
Photo Credit: Eden Radandt
Jackson has to be on constant watch.
The Radandt family felt completely in over their heads. “It was as though an eternal 100-pound backpack was set on all our shoulders,” Eden said, “we just hoped he would live a happy and normal life.”
19-year-old Eden attends school Loyola University Chicago. She decided on Loyola because it was a far enough distance from her home in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, while still close enough that she could reach her family if something happened to Jackson.
Twiddling her thumbs and straightening her shoulders, Eden said: “I love my family very much, but they miss out on a lot of firsts for me.”
One instance of neglect that reminisced with Eden was her transition into college. “Moving out of the house and into college was a big deal for me,” Eden said. “My parents were not able to move me in or come visit me at all because of Jackson’s health.” Although Eden understood why they could not be there for her, it was still difficult to take such a big step in her life without them.
As a consequence of the neglect Eden experienced as a child, and even into her adult years, she developed mental health issues. Eden admits she has severe anxiety and an attachment disorder. “Not many people had gone through what I did, or were open about it at the time all of this was happening. Now, they recommend kid’s like me go to therapy from a young age,” said Eden. She acknowledges it has taken her a long time to come to terms with her own health and well-being. She has unfailingly had to put her own life on hold to give Jackson the care and attention he requires.
“Jackson is definitely the main focus of our family. He gets tons of special attention and help that I didn’t ever get,” said Eden.
According to Psychology Today, siblings of children with disabilities are at a greater risk of developing mental issues, as seen through Eden. Psychology Today also says siblings like Eden internalize their issues and cover up their problems because they “want to be well behaved” and “protect their already overburdened parents.”
Children with attachment disorders often struggle to show love towards others as an adult and struggle to feel empathy, according to the Mayo Clinic. This is because the first three years of a child’s life are when they form bonds with their parents. If children do not receive this required attention, they often become untrusting of others.
In May of 2012, the Radandt family’s phone rang. Jackson was on the donor list and there was finally a heart available for him. Jackson and his parents rushed to the hospital immediately, leaving Eden and her younger sister behind at home.
“When Jackson was waiting for his heart transplant I did not talk to my parents for weeks at a time. I was a young 13-year-old girl, basically living on my own and taking care of my little sister Ella. I had to learn to grow up quickly, but I was used to it,” Eden said.
During Jacksons transplant, the two Radandt girls stayed with their grandmother, who was too busy and worried about Jackson to show them the love they so clearly needed. Because her parents were absent and her grandmother was preoccupied, Eden attended her eighth-grade graduation alone. All the other students had their parents to congratulate them except for Eden.
When Eden was little, she recalls how she would scream and throw fits when her mom and Jackson had to go to the hospital. At the time, Eden remembered how her mom was frustrated by Eden’s behavior because her focus was on keeping Jackson healthy, but her mom now realizes she should have been more comforting towards her young toddler that was crying for help.
Years later, this abandonment became Eden’s new normal. The tears were gone and reality settled in. A lifetime of being forgotten and overshadowed has left Eden somewhat cold.
Photo Credi: Eden Radandt
“At the end of the day, all I want is for Jack to be okay. So, I am okay with getting left behind if it means he can have the life he deserves,” Eden’s soft blue eyes glanced up convincingly.
Lindsay Loo
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